How to keep away of quarrels in a joint family?
Date: March 18, 2015
Mufti Menk answered wisely to a question on how to keep away of quarrels in a joint family especially between husband’s relatives and daughter in law. He says that often a mom or dad cannot love their daughter in law as equal as they love their daughter or son. In Islamic way, we must keep away quarrels and must be united in a family life. The best solution is that to live separately with her husband and children and to visit home in occasions such as Eid, Bakrid etc. Islamically, women deserve a dignity, respect and privacy at home. Living together does not provide unity in Islam. But respecting others will produce unity in Islam.
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What is Hijra?
The Arabic word Hijra means migration. It marks the beginning of the new year in the Islamic calendar and refers to the migration of Muhammad (SAW) and his companions, from Mecca to Madina. The Hijra was a great historical event marking a significant change in Islamic history. The early Muslims gained a position of strength and authority following the Hijra. The Hijri calendar was adopted during the Khilafah (successorship) of Umar Ibn-Khathab (RA). Umar (RA) rejected many other suggestions to start the Islamic calendar, including the birth and death of the Muhammad (SAW). He stated, "The Hijra has separated truth from falsehood, therefore, let it become the Epoch of the Era" (Fath Al-Bari, Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani). Muhammad (SAW) publicly preached Islam in Mecca for more than a decade when the opposition was at its peak. The believers were harassed, abused and even cruelly tortured. Afraid for their safety, Muhammad (SAW) sent a group of Muslims to Abyssinia (now known as Ethiopia) where the Christian ruler extended protection to the Sahabahs. Shortly after that, Muhammad (SAW) sent seventy others to Yathrib (later re-named Madina) with the hope of establishing a new beginning for Islam. When Muhammad (SAW) set off for Yathrib with his closest friend, Abu-Bakr as-Siddique (RA), the leaders of Mecca decided to have him killed. They put a bounty on his head and sent people in pursuit. Muhammad (SAW) and Abu Bakr (RA) hid in a cave where Allah protected them from their assassins. Allah says,�"_It does not matter if you believers do not support him, for Allah did in fact support him when the disbelievers drove him out of Mecca, and he was only one of two. While they both were in the cave, he reassured his companion,�'Do not worry; Allah is certainly with us'. So, Allah sent down His serenity upon the Prophet, supported him with forces you believers did not see, and made the word of the disbelievers lowest, while the Word of Allah is supreme. And Allah is Almighty, All-Wise."_ (Quran, 9:40) The early Muslims made great sacrifices to move to Madina (Hijra) to begin the first ever Islamic community. Allah says,_"As for those who emigrated in the cause of Allah after being persecuted, We will surely bless them with a good home in this world. But the reward of the Hereafter is far better, if only they knew."_ (Quran, 16:41) Muhammad (SAW) and his followers were joyously welcomed by the people of Madina (the Ansar or "helpers"). Muhammad (SAW) established a concept of brotherhood among the Muslims and unity with the non-Muslim communities, including the Jewish tribes. The Hijra from Mecca to Madina marked the Muslims' transition from one stage to another on several different levels. They went from a position of weakness to one of strength. In Mecca, they were humiliated and abused at the hands of Quraysh, in Medina they were the ones with power. They went from spreading Islam individually in Mecca, to converting whole nations at a time in Medina. From implementing Islam individually in Mecca, to implementing a full, comprehensive, political, and economic system that governed a nation in every aspect of life. From being a small group of believers in Mecca to, becoming the heart of an Islamic nation encompassing Muslims in multiple countries. The Alim Foundation: NPS / NH; September 29, 2020
Read MoreBaba; My Soul and My Guide
Hiba Masood a writer, speaker and a story teller talks about her Baba's influence in teaching Quran and its holy threads in her wonderful opinion piece "Baba, The Quran and Me". When she was in her younger age, she had to recite Quran every day, that her Baba taught her to do so without fail. She memorizes her childhood experience in the holy month of Ramadan as well as her Baba's powerful Ramadan experiences. Her Baba looked after all his children with extreme care. She had not faced poverty or any other means difficulties in life. Baba used to talk about his life and his days spent with his eight brothers and sisters used to look like. They were like in abject poverty, splitting one bowl of food for Iftar amongst a family of eleven and so on. Baba used to say that once all the work is done, you should recite Quran in every single possible minute. Every letter you recite during Ramadan has 70 times the regular reward? That means every letter, like saying Alif, gets you seven hundred good deeds. Years passed and with all the impetuous, rebellion of youth, of spending my days in smoke-filled rooms, strategizing with socialist/activists, and my evenings protesting against the Iraq war on the frozen streets of Toronto. Of not praying at all, of not so much as glancing towards the dusty shelf where my Qur'an sat the entire year. Next year Hiba got married and her brand new husband got astonished by her behavior and activities. She never proper placed her shoes and she always misplaced her cell phone. And she blessed with a baby boy just before the month of holy Ramadan. And there have many, many more years filled with anxiety, scary financial strain and a stormy marriage of sickness and grief. Years passed with no changes. Hiba recited Quran verses just as a routine, or just like fasting in the month of Ramadan without knowing the rewards of reciting. At last wisdom came to her brain at the age of thirty and she started to settle in life. Slowly, as an enthusiastically expected reconnection, she started reciting Quran well to Allah to the Qur'an to her childhood, to her father and to herself. Now her beloved father is aging and sick and she is in great agony by thinking about her sick dad. She used to caress his dad's grey hair, press her cheeks to his. She says that she misses him a lot and she is afraid of the future. But most of all, she whisper her gratitude. Gratitude for gifting her so freely all the things, all the lessons, all the beliefs, all the forces of habit and inspiring stories and abiding, enriching traditions that have blessed her life. Ultimately he was the lighthouse when he was able.
Read MoreWelcoming Muharram, the Month of Allah
The Islamic calendar consists of twelve months, the first of which is the month of Muharram. The name “Muharram” is derived from the word “haram,” which means forbidden or impermissible, as it is considered unlawful to engage in any war or fighting during this month. This was the case even before the advent of Islam for the people of Makkah and surrounding tribes. Muharram can also be defined as “sacred,” and it is a blessed month which has been mentioned by God Almighty, Allah, in the Qur’an as one of the four sacred months of the Islamic lunar calendar. Allah says: “Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve months (in a year), so was it ordained by Allah on the Day when He created the heavens and the earth; of them four are Sacred, (i.e. the 1st, the 7th, the 11th and the 12th months of the Islamic calendar). That is the right religion, so wrong not yourselves therein.” (9:36) In this verse, Allah mentions the four most sacred months of the year, the 1st, which is Muharram, Rajab, the 7th, and Dhul Qadah and Dhul Hijjah, which are the 11th and 12th, respectively. The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, confirmed this in a hadith narrated by Abu Bakrah, in which he said, “… The year is twelve months, of which four are sacred: three consecutive months, Dhul Qadah, Dhul Hijjah and Muharram, and Rajab of Mudar which comes between Jumada and Shabaan.” (Bukhari) Not only is Muharram sacred, but also referred to as the month of Allah, as mentioned by the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, when he said, “The best fast after Ramadan is in the month of Allah, Muharram.” (Muslim) From this hadith, it is understood that the month of Muharram has a unique status with Allah, given the honor of being associated with His glorious name. Another lesson that can be extracted from this saying of the Prophet is that fasting during the month of Muharram is recommended. This fast is even compared to that of Ramadan, one of the pillars of Islam, to emphasize its importance. There is one particular day during the month of Muharram in which it is highly encouraged to fast, and that is the day of Ashura. The day of Ashura coincides with the 10th of Muharram. Several authentic reports in the books of ahadith note that fasting on the day of Ashura was a popular practice even before Islam was established. Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him, came to Madinah and saw the Jews fasting on the day of Ashura. He asked, “What is this day you are fasting?” They responded, “This is a good day; this is the day when Allah saved the Children of Israel from their enemy and Musa (Moses) fasted on this day.” The Prophet said, “We are closer to Musa than you.” So he fasted on this day and told the people to fast. (Bukhari and Muslim) In fact, before the fast of Ramadan was made obligatory for the Muslims, the Prophet, peace be upon him, ordered his followers to fast on the day of Ashura. Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said that fasting on the day of Ashura became voluntary only after fasting the month of Ramadan was made compulsory. (Muslim) Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, also reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Fast the Day of Ashura and be different from the Jews by fasting a day before it or a day after it.” (Ahmad) This is the reason why Muslims often fast the 9th and 10th of Muharram or the 10th and 11th of Muharram. There are immense rewards associated with fasting in general. Allah says in a hadith qudsi: “Every action of the son of Adam is his, except for fasting. It is Mine, and it is I who reward it.” (Bukhari and Muslim) Of course, it is Allah who will assess a believer’s worship and ultimately reward or punish mankind for his deeds. However, fasting is an action which is private, unlike prayer, charity, and even the pilgrimage. No one can “see” another person fasting; and thus, only Allah knows whether or not that individual is upholding his fast. Given that the month of Muharram is the month of Allah, it can be presumed that the reward will be great, in accordance with the status of this sacred month. The Prophet, peace be upon him, did expound on some of the recompense for fasting the day of Ashura. He is recorded as saying, “I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of Arafa may atone for the sins of the preceding and the coming years, and I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of Ashura may atone for the sins of the preceding year.” (Muslim) In another hadith in Sahih Muslim, when he was asked about the reward for fasting the day of Ashura, he clearly stated that it was an expiation for the sins of the previous year. Many other narrations speak about the virtues of the day of Ashura and the month of Muharram in general. No doubt the month of Muharram is blessed and the believers should take advantage of this time to increase in their ibaadah, by virtue of fasting, remembering Allah much, praying, and giving in charity. The Prophet said, “The best fasting after Ramadan is the month of Allah, Muharram, and the best prayer after the obligatory prayer is prayer at night.” (Muslim) At the very least, one should strive to fast on the day of Ashura, which was a practice of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and his companions. While the Muslim community does not hold a celebration for the coming of the “New Year,” Muslims are encouraged to embrace the first month of the Islamic calendar by performing good deeds and as a result, set the stage for a fruitful year, insha’Allah.
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