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How to keep away of quarrels in a joint family?
Date: March 18, 2015
Mufti Menk answered wisely to a question on how to keep away of quarrels in a joint family especially between husband&8217;s relatives and daughter in law. He says that often a mom or dad cannot love their daughter in law as equal as they love their daughter or son. In Islamic way, we must keep away quarrels and must be united in a family life. The best solution is that to live separately with her husband and children and to visit home in occasions such as Eid, Bakrid etc. Islamically, women deserve a dignity, respect and privacy at home. Living together does not provide unity in Islam. But respecting others will produce unity in Islam.
"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."
Sunan Ibn Mājah
"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"
Sahih Bukhari
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Read MoreLailat al Miraj : The Miraculous Night Journey of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
Lailat al Miraj : The Miraculous Night Journey of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Miracles do happen, for those who do not believe, are clearly unaware of the life of our Holy Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH). Islamic history is a superior witness to these miracles. Lailat-al-Miraj, was one of the greatest miracles of his time, the night that the Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) ascent to the Heavens. It was not only a spiritual journey but a physical one as well. The journey of Lailat-al-Miraj signifies the greatness and importance of the Prophet (PBUH) in Allah’s (SWT) eyes. This night of miracle is also known as the “Isra and Miraj” which denotes 2 parts of the journey. The first part of the Prophet’s (PBUH) journey from Mecca to Jerusalem is known as Isra - which means ‘walking in the night’. Angel Jibrael visited the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and was carried to Masjid-al-Aqsa in Jerusalem on “buraq”, the steed of the prophets. In the Quran, Allah (SWT) verifies the truth of this journey as well: _“Glory be to Him Who took His devotee (Muhammad) one night from Masjid-al-Haram (in Makkah) to Masjid-al-Aqsa (in Jerusalem), whose vicinity We have blessed, so that We may show him some of Our signs: surely He is the One Who is the Hearer, the Observer. (Quran 17:1) The second part of the journey is called as Miraaj, which literally means “ladder”, and it alludes to the Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) ascension to Heaven itself. From Jerusalem, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was then transported to Paradise on his steed ‘Buraq’, where he explored all seven levels of paradise and met a number of the prophets who had preceded him, which included Adam (AS), Musa (AS), Ibrahim (AS), Isa (AS), Yusuf (AS), Yahya (AS), and numerous others. Upon reaching Sidra-tul-Muntaha in the seventh heaven, a tree denoting the very end of heaven and the beginning of the abode of Allah (SWT), Jibrael stopped as his entrance was prohibited and let the Prophet (PBUH) pass. Here, our dearest Prophet (PBUH) got an opportunity to meet the Almighty and talk with Him. It is on this night, that the Prophet (PBUH) accomplished a condition of closeness with Allah (SWT) that is past human measure. Additionally, it was on this very moment that Allah (SWT) on all Muslims urged the five daily prayers. Prayers was originally supposed to be 50 daily prayers, but our Prophet (PBUH) importuned for the benefit of his ummah to make it easier for them and alas, Allah (SWT) brought the number down to five. Allah (SWT) revealed to Muhammad (PBUH) that all Muslims were to pray fifty times a day. As Prophet (PBUH) was returning, Musa (AS) disclosed to him that fifty prayers were excessively high so Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) mentioned Allah (SWT) to decrease the number of supplications. Allah (SWT) decreased the obligatory supplications to 45 yet Musa (AS) still idea they were excesses of so eventually on Prophet’s (PBUH) request, Allah (SWT) reduced the number of prayers to Five. Allah (SWT) makes reference to a couple of insights regarding the journey in another part of the Quran as well: _“While on the highest point above the horizon, then he approached ˹the Prophet˺, coming so close, that he was only two arms-lengths away or even less. Then Allah revealed to His servant what He revealed ˹through Gabriel˺. The ˹Prophet’s˺ heart did not doubt what he saw. How can you ˹O pagans˺ then dispute with him regarding what he saw? And he certainly saw that ˹angel descend˺ a second time, at the Lotte Tree of the most extreme limit ˹in the seventh heaven near which is the Garden of ˹Eternal˺ Residence. while the Lotte Tree was overwhelmed with ˹heavenly˺ splendors! The ˹Prophet’s˺ sight never wandered, nor did it overreach. He certainly saw some of his Lord’s greatest signs. (Quran 53:7-18) The sole purpose of the Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) extraordinary voyage to the Heavens was an act of declaration about the lifted up status of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in the realm of Islam and vouched for the imperative position he held in the eyes of Allah (SWT) and His creation. However, the date of this voyage is still unclear as there is no solid indication in any Sahih hadith for its exact occurrence. It is thought to have occurred somewhere close to the Prophet's visit to Taif and the season of the Hijra, around the 27th of the Islamic month of Rajab, yet this date isn't formally perceived by Islamic researchers. Layla-tul-Miraj is a witness to Allah’s (SWT) infinite glory and power and His bond with His creation. Allah (SWT) sent the Holy Prophet (PBUH) as a blessing to His creation, an exemplary figure and good example for each human to gaze upward to. Miraj night marks itself as a test of faith in mankind and enjoins them to believe in the truth of all that Allah (SWT) is and all that only He is capable of doing. Layla-tul-Miraj holds great significance to every Muslim across the globe, where the Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) ascension is remembered and the definitive purpose of it is recollected. It is viewed as a standout amongst the most sacred of miracles of the Almighty, which He offered to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and just him.
Read MoreWelcoming Muharram, the Month of Allah
The Islamic calendar consists of twelve months, the first of which is the month of Muharram. The name “Muharram” is derived from the word “haram,” which means forbidden or impermissible, as it is considered unlawful to engage in any war or fighting during this month. This was the case even before the advent of Islam for the people of Makkah and surrounding tribes. Muharram can also be defined as “sacred,” and it is a blessed month which has been mentioned by God Almighty, Allah, in the Qur’an as one of the four sacred months of the Islamic lunar calendar. Allah says: “Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve months (in a year), so was it ordained by Allah on the Day when He created the heavens and the earth; of them four are Sacred, (i.e. the 1st, the 7th, the 11th and the 12th months of the Islamic calendar). That is the right religion, so wrong not yourselves therein.” (9:36) In this verse, Allah mentions the four most sacred months of the year, the 1st, which is Muharram, Rajab, the 7th, and Dhul Qadah and Dhul Hijjah, which are the 11th and 12th, respectively. The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, confirmed this in a hadith narrated by Abu Bakrah, in which he said, “… The year is twelve months, of which four are sacred: three consecutive months, Dhul Qadah, Dhul Hijjah and Muharram, and Rajab of Mudar which comes between Jumada and Shabaan.” (Bukhari) Not only is Muharram sacred, but also referred to as the month of Allah, as mentioned by the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, when he said, “The best fast after Ramadan is in the month of Allah, Muharram.” (Muslim) From this hadith, it is understood that the month of Muharram has a unique status with Allah, given the honor of being associated with His glorious name. Another lesson that can be extracted from this saying of the Prophet is that fasting during the month of Muharram is recommended. This fast is even compared to that of Ramadan, one of the pillars of Islam, to emphasize its importance. There is one particular day during the month of Muharram in which it is highly encouraged to fast, and that is the day of Ashura. The day of Ashura coincides with the 10th of Muharram. Several authentic reports in the books of ahadith note that fasting on the day of Ashura was a popular practice even before Islam was established. Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him, came to Madinah and saw the Jews fasting on the day of Ashura. He asked, “What is this day you are fasting?” They responded, “This is a good day; this is the day when Allah saved the Children of Israel from their enemy and Musa (Moses) fasted on this day.” The Prophet said, “We are closer to Musa than you.” So he fasted on this day and told the people to fast. (Bukhari and Muslim) In fact, before the fast of Ramadan was made obligatory for the Muslims, the Prophet, peace be upon him, ordered his followers to fast on the day of Ashura. Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said that fasting on the day of Ashura became voluntary only after fasting the month of Ramadan was made compulsory. (Muslim) Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, also reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Fast the Day of Ashura and be different from the Jews by fasting a day before it or a day after it.” (Ahmad) This is the reason why Muslims often fast the 9th and 10th of Muharram or the 10th and 11th of Muharram. There are immense rewards associated with fasting in general. Allah says in a hadith qudsi: “Every action of the son of Adam is his, except for fasting. It is Mine, and it is I who reward it.” (Bukhari and Muslim) Of course, it is Allah who will assess a believer’s worship and ultimately reward or punish mankind for his deeds. However, fasting is an action which is private, unlike prayer, charity, and even the pilgrimage. No one can “see” another person fasting; and thus, only Allah knows whether or not that individual is upholding his fast. Given that the month of Muharram is the month of Allah, it can be presumed that the reward will be great, in accordance with the status of this sacred month. The Prophet, peace be upon him, did expound on some of the recompense for fasting the day of Ashura. He is recorded as saying, “I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of Arafa may atone for the sins of the preceding and the coming years, and I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of Ashura may atone for the sins of the preceding year.” (Muslim) In another hadith in Sahih Muslim, when he was asked about the reward for fasting the day of Ashura, he clearly stated that it was an expiation for the sins of the previous year. Many other narrations speak about the virtues of the day of Ashura and the month of Muharram in general. No doubt the month of Muharram is blessed and the believers should take advantage of this time to increase in their ibaadah, by virtue of fasting, remembering Allah much, praying, and giving in charity. The Prophet said, “The best fasting after Ramadan is the month of Allah, Muharram, and the best prayer after the obligatory prayer is prayer at night.” (Muslim) At the very least, one should strive to fast on the day of Ashura, which was a practice of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and his companions. While the Muslim community does not hold a celebration for the coming of the “New Year,” Muslims are encouraged to embrace the first month of the Islamic calendar by performing good deeds and as a result, set the stage for a fruitful year, insha’Allah.
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