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How to keep away of quarrels in a joint family?

Date: March 18, 2015

Mufti Menk answered wisely to a question on how to keep away of quarrels in a joint family especially between husband’s relatives and daughter in law. He says that often a mom or dad cannot love their daughter in law as equal as they love their daughter or son. In Islamic way, we must keep away quarrels and must be united in a family life. The best solution is that to live separately with her husband and children and to visit home in occasions such as Eid, Bakrid etc. Islamically, women deserve a dignity, respect and privacy at home. Living together does not provide unity in Islam. But respecting others will produce unity in Islam.

Precious Gifts a Person Leaves Behind

"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."

Sunan Ibn Mājah

Angelic Daily Prayers for Generosity

"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"

Sahih Bukhari

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The Bliss of the Moment

What are the good ways to lead a balanced family atmosphere? Did you ever think of? Do you care your children in a lovable way? You might have tried to keep your standards in cooking, housekeeping, taking care of children or your desire to write, create and plan for the future. The reality is that no matter how much you do, it is never enough – the house, children and life will never be perfect and at that one moment you get on top of things. You have to keep the things in a balanced way and to move on. You don’t need to do things in with haste. Slow down and try to be present in each moment. Spent your precious time for playing with Baby and enjoy his smiles and activities. So you can realize yourself in you that you are enough to lead a good family and you are the best to lead a happy family. You will study to slow down your haste to complete the house works. But you will be doing it all with your friendly efforts and playing with your dear ones and babies at the same time. Stop constantly looking forward and thinking about the next thing to do and instead take your current time to do the cute works.

The Month of Safar

The month of Safar is one of the 12 months of the Hijri calendar, the month succeeds Muharram. Safar literally means ‘empty’ or a house that is empty. According to some scholars, it is named because of emptying (Isfaar) of Mecca. People used to travel extensively in this month. Some scholars say that the Arabs believed in the sacredness of the holy months: Dhul Qadha, Dhul Hijjah, Muharram and Rajab. They did not indulge in war or any other crime in theses months and used to wait for such months to be over. In Safar they used to fight other tribes during this month. Among the superstitions of the pre-Islamic days, the month of Safar was considered to be inauspicious and taken as an ill omen. It was believed that the month would bring calamities along with a lot of diseases and economies would be destroyed. The pagans didn’t start any important work or new project in this month. Islam is a religion of truth & veracity. It’s the religion which illuminated the world with belief in Tawheed (Oneness of God, the Exalted) and Risalat (Prophethood). With the emergence of Islam, the superstitions and heresies of all kinds that prevailed at the time of pre-Islamic era, have been ended. Unfortunately, many of the Muslims have imbibed these superstitions. On one hand, omens and bad lucks have been associated with the month and, on the other hand, self-made solutions for such things was proposed as well. Today too, some Muslims are still holding the incorrect beliefs regarding the month of Safar. Some of the erroneous believes are as follows: * A nikah performed in the month of Safar would not be successful. Sayyadina Ali (Radi Allahu anhu) and Sayyiditina Fatima (Radi Allahu anha) got married, in the latter days of Safar 2 A.H. * This month is full of calamities and misfortune. * To commence any important business, venture etc. during this month will be of great loss. * The first to the 13th of Safar is ill-fortune and evil. * A person who distributes food or money on the 13th day of Safar will be saved from its bad luck. What Muslims should do? * Shun all types of erroneous beliefs regarding the month of Safar. * Note that the most unfortunate person is he who disobeys Allah’s commandments e.g. does not perform the five daily Salah etc. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: "Pray, O Allah! - Cause not any of us to be a wretched destitute" Then he asked: "Do you know who is a wretched destitute? " Upon the request of the Sahabah he replied, "A wretched destitute is he who neglects his salaat." (Hadith). * We all should understand that all conditions which befalls us, favorable or unfavorable, good or bad are from Allah, (as a result of our actions). "Whichever misfortune befalls you, it is due to the things your hands have wrought, and He forgives many a sin." (Al-Quran: 42:30). This can be confirmed by the following Hadith: _"I have heard Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) saying, the descending of illness and evil superstition befalling in the month of Safar is not true."_ - Jabir (Radi Allahu anhu) (Muslim) There is nothing ominous in the month of Safar. Evil deeds & incorrect beliefs are ominous and should be given up & repented for. It’s incorrect to delay or postpone marriage or its proposal or a journey, etc. because of such beliefs. Rejecting the fake beliefs of the days of ignorance, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, ‘Belief in ill-omen is Shirk (polytheistic) (thrice he said) and the owl’s ominousness is nothing.’ The Mushriks of Arabia believed that a house near which an owl screeches will be ruined, hence, Rasoolullah Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam refuted this belief as false. Then, he said, ‘There is nothing ominous about the Month of Safar’. (Bukhari) The polytheists believed the Month of Safar up to the 13th day to be inauspicious, hence, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) rejected this superstition. It’s therefore wrong for all Muslims, who are the followers of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), to adopt the ways of the non-Muslims and to entertain the very beliefs which he had come to change. May Allah, the Exalted grant all Muslims the ability to accept and practice all the beautiful teachings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), Aameen.

Benefits of Reading Qur'an

The Quran is a guidance for humanity. It is the eternal and literal word of Allah. It is a divine book of wisdom, commands, and laws with instructions for nearly every aspect of life. It was revealed about 1500 years ago, on the heart of prophet Muhammad (SAW) over a period of 23 years through angel Jibril. It is divided into 30 sections (juz), 114 chapters (surahs) and over 6000 verses (ayahs). There are numerous benefits to reading Quran. Just a few are listed below: 1. To understand the purpose of life. Why are we here? Why did Allah create us? _"We have not created jinns and mankind except to worship Me."_(Quran, 51:56) 2. To receive guidance on how to please Allah with our lives. The only way to know what Allah wants of us is to read His word. _"This is The Book in which there is no doubt. It is a guide for those who are God conscious."_(Quran, 2:2) 3. To attain Jannah and avoid Allah's wrath. Allah teaches us how to live and conduct ourselves in the Quran. _"Shall We then treat the People of Faith like the People of Sin?"_(Quran, 68:35) 4. To increase in Iman. _"The true believers are those whose hearts tremble with fear, when the name of Allah is mentioned, and And when His verses are recited to them, it increases their faith and they put their trust in their Rabb."_(Quran, 8:2) 5. To receive intercession on the day of judgement. Muhammad (SAW) said, "Recite the Quran for it will come as an intercessor for its people on the day of judgement." (Muslim) 6. To cleanse the heart. _"Oh mankind! There has come to you an instruction from your Rabb, a cure for whatever (disease) is in your hearts, a guidance and a blessing for the true believers."_ (Quran, 10:57) 7. To learn what happens after death. _"The righteous will surely be in bliss while the wicked will indeed go to hell."_(Quran, 82:13-14) 8. To be rewarded. "Whoever reads a letter from the Book of Allah will have a reward. And that reward will be multiplied by ten." (Tirmizi) Muhammad (SAW) also said, "One who recites the Quran beautifully, smoothly and precisely will be in the company of noble angels. As for the one who recites it with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, he will have twice that reward." 9. To be the best of the best. Muhammad (SAW) said, "The best among you are those who learn the Quran and teach it to others." (Sahih al-Bukhari) The Alim Foundation: NPS / NH; September 29, 2020