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How to keep away of quarrels in a joint family?

Date: March 18, 2015

Mufti Menk answered wisely to a question on how to keep away of quarrels in a joint family especially between husband’s relatives and daughter in law. He says that often a mom or dad cannot love their daughter in law as equal as they love their daughter or son. In Islamic way, we must keep away quarrels and must be united in a family life. The best solution is that to live separately with her husband and children and to visit home in occasions such as Eid, Bakrid etc. Islamically, women deserve a dignity, respect and privacy at home. Living together does not provide unity in Islam. But respecting others will produce unity in Islam.

Precious Gifts a Person Leaves Behind

"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."

Sunan Ibn Mājah

Angelic Daily Prayers for Generosity

"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"

Sahih Bukhari

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He asked, “What is this day you are fasting?” They responded, “This is a good day; this is the day when Allah saved the Children of Israel from their enemy and Musa (Moses) fasted on this day.” The Prophet said, “We are closer to Musa than you.” So he fasted on this day and told the people to fast. (Bukhari and Muslim) In fact, before the fast of Ramadan was made obligatory for the Muslims, the Prophet, peace be upon him, ordered his followers to fast on the day of Ashura. Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said that fasting on the day of Ashura became voluntary only after fasting the month of Ramadan was made compulsory. (Muslim) Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, also reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Fast the Day of Ashura and be different from the Jews by fasting a day before it or a day after it.” (Ahmad) This is the reason why Muslims often fast the 9th and 10th of Muharram or the 10th and 11th of Muharram. There are immense rewards associated with fasting in general. Allah says in a hadith qudsi: “Every action of the son of Adam is his, except for fasting. It is Mine, and it is I who reward it.” (Bukhari and Muslim) Of course, it is Allah who will assess a believer’s worship and ultimately reward or punish mankind for his deeds. However, fasting is an action which is private, unlike prayer, charity, and even the pilgrimage. No one can “see” another person fasting; and thus, only Allah knows whether or not that individual is upholding his fast. Given that the month of Muharram is the month of Allah, it can be presumed that the reward will be great, in accordance with the status of this sacred month. The Prophet, peace be upon him, did expound on some of the recompense for fasting the day of Ashura. He is recorded as saying, “I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of Arafa may atone for the sins of the preceding and the coming years, and I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of Ashura may atone for the sins of the preceding year.” (Muslim) In another hadith in Sahih Muslim, when he was asked about the reward for fasting the day of Ashura, he clearly stated that it was an expiation for the sins of the previous year. Many other narrations speak about the virtues of the day of Ashura and the month of Muharram in general. No doubt the month of Muharram is blessed and the believers should take advantage of this time to increase in their ibaadah, by virtue of fasting, remembering Allah much, praying, and giving in charity. The Prophet said, “The best fasting after Ramadan is the month of Allah, Muharram, and the best prayer after the obligatory prayer is prayer at night.” (Muslim) At the very least, one should strive to fast on the day of Ashura, which was a practice of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and his companions. While the Muslim community does not hold a celebration for the coming of the “New Year,” Muslims are encouraged to embrace the first month of the Islamic calendar by performing good deeds and as a result, set the stage for a fruitful year, insha’Allah.