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How to keep away of quarrels in a joint family?

Date: March 18, 2015

Mufti Menk answered wisely to a question on how to keep away of quarrels in a joint family especially between husband’s relatives and daughter in law. He says that often a mom or dad cannot love their daughter in law as equal as they love their daughter or son. In Islamic way, we must keep away quarrels and must be united in a family life. The best solution is that to live separately with her husband and children and to visit home in occasions such as Eid, Bakrid etc. Islamically, women deserve a dignity, respect and privacy at home. Living together does not provide unity in Islam. But respecting others will produce unity in Islam.

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PARENTS IN OUR LIFE

Islam is a religion which teaches us to be dutiful and to show respect to our parents. Allah (SWT) has gifted us with parents which we did not choose, instead HE chose them for us. The Supreme Maker took this decision as a test for them as well as for us. This is the reason why Allah (SWT) says we should be kind to our parents. Parents are given the next highest status after Allah (SWT) and his Prophets. We are blessed with parents who guide us and love us from the beginning of our lives. A baby needs the guidance and support of a human being for survival. If we were not looked after by our mother we would have died. It is the duty of the parent to feed the child and accommodate the child and to have a good relationship with the child. It is said in a hadith: A man came to the Prophet (SAW) and asked him: _“O” Messenger of Allah, who among people is more deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Then your father". (Bukhari and Muslim) Children are a trust given to the parents by the ALMIGHTY. HE has given them the power to guide them and to build them as a good human being, but He has given the parents a boundary step which they should not cross to achieve something they want as it is the right of the children to make a choice. If the children make a wrong decision it is the duty of the parents to guide them and tell them and to convince them about this choice. A parent should always try to be the role model of the child by doing good things. Parents should be like friends with their children so that they can run to you without fear when they need to tell you something. As our parents do all these for us we owe to them respect and kindness. Even after the death of our parents we should pray, give charity on their behalf and perform dua for them.

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