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Pleasurable Parenting: Flexible Reward Chart

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Date: February 12, 2015

Umm Salihah Ahmed, a blog writer and a loving mother tells about a flexible reward chart on pleasurable parenting. The content of the blog can be read in an abridged format as follows:  Children are the focus of our life and we are all on the way to parent them in the best lovable and pleasurable way. She is a compassionate devotee of Islam religion and believes that children are the blessings of Allah and thus we have to treat them in a divine way. Just wipe out the feelings of stress, worries, guilty and cruelty and to start dedicating our life to parent our children. We have to understand the faults of our children, so that we can correct them timely. At the same time we can celebrate their strengths, be gentle in the way we guide them and recognise when the right way to discipline requires a loving approach that tries to identify why a child might be rebelling rather than punishment. The best way to have a good parent is to agree with the qualities of our children first and to lead them to a positive approach to life. By accepting the continuous request from her kids, she has prepared a reward chart for them. The chart incorporated nine broad blogcategories of activity that could generate a reward (or merit) and each child had a different coloured dot to identify who did something good. She also added a bar across the top to show weeks from now to the end of the year.

Precious Gifts a Person Leaves Behind

"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."

Sunan Ibn Mājah

Angelic Daily Prayers for Generosity

"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"

Sahih Bukhari

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THE FIRST TEN DAYS OF DHUL HIJJAH

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, it is the Greatness of our Lord Allah, Subhanahu Wa Taala (SWT(the Exalted))who has honored us with blessed days and blessed nights throughout the entire year. Friday is the best day of the week; Ramadan, the best month of the year;and the last ten nights of Ramadan,the best nights of Ramadan. Then, there is one night inthe last ten best nights of Ramadan, Lailatul Qadr, that is better than one thousand months (Qur’an: Al-Qadr, 97:1). Additionally, Allah SWT has chosen to give us another ten highly blessed days: first ten days of Dhul Hijjah. These are the best days of the year. The significance of these first days of Dhul Hijjah, is emphasized by our beloved Prophet, Mohammad, Sallalahu Alaihi Wassallama (SAW): "No good deeds done on other days are superior to those done on these (first ten days of Dhul Hijjah)." Then some companions of the Prophet said, "Not even Jihad?" He replied, "Not even Jihad, except that of a man who does it by putting himself and his property in danger (for Allah's sake) and does not return with any of those things." (Bukhari) Alhamdulillah, Allah, SWT continually showers upon us with His Blessings day and night all our lives without any end to it. Do we have to do anything in return? Yes, we do! We need to thank deeply and heavily. The ten best blessed days of Dhul Hijjah are upon us. Here are some of the ways our scholars recommend to thank Allah, SWT: 1. Hajj (Pilgrimage): It is the first and the foremost best deed during these ten days. It is an obligation upon every able and capable Muslim and Muslimah. Upon completion of Hajj one receives the greater blessings in terms of complete forgiveness from all sins by Allah, SWT. 2. Sawm (Fasting): The second-bestdeed,for those who can’t undertake the Hajj, is to fast first nine days. And if it not possible then at least fast the ninth day, the Day of Arafat (the actual day of Hajj). The Prophet, SAW said: “Anyone who fasts for one day for Allah’s pleasure, Allah will keep his face away from the (Hell) fire for (a distance covered by a journey of) seventy years.” (Bukhari, Muslim). Additionally, he, SAW emphasized about the fast on the ninth day of Dhul-Hijjah saying: “Fasting the Day of ‘Arafat (ninth Dhul-Hijjah) is an expiation for (all the sins of) the previous year and expiation for (all the sins of) the coming year.” (Muslim) 3. Tadhkir/Dhikr:Recite the following Tasbihaat as much and as often as possible during these ten days: Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar La ilaha illallah Wa Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar Walil Lahil Hamd. The Prophet, SAW said: “There are no days on which good deeds are greater or more beloved to Allah than on these ten days, so recite much Tahleel (saying Laa ilaaha ill-Allah), Takbeer (saying Allahu Akbar) and Tahmeed (saying Alhamdu Lillaah).” 4. Salat-ut Tahajjud (Nightly Prayer): This prayer is observed during the last part of the night before the start of Fajr prayer time. To seekthe bounty, forgiveness, and the pleasure of Allah, SWT, this is the best time to supplicate (pray) to Him that is highly beloved to Him.This is the time when He, SWT calls upon His servants: “Is there anyone to invoke Me, so that I may respond to his invocation? Is there anyone to ask Me, so that I may grant him his request? Is there anyone seeking My forgiveness, so that I may forgive him?” (Bukhari, Muslim) Let us take the advantage of His blessings every day but essentially during theseten best days of the year. 5. Istighfar (Repentance): Another deed that pleases Allah, SWT much is to return to Him after committing sins and mistakes. One should feel guilty for own sins and mistakes, commit to Allah, SWT to not ever return to them, and then seek His forgiveness sincerely. Assure that this good deed is done on every such occasion but during these days extra benefits will be reaped.Allah, SWT says, “But as for him who repented, believed and did righteous deeds, then he will be among those who are successful.” (Quran: Al-Qasas, 28:67) 6. Recite Al-Quran (Read the Book of Allah): Communication and continuous relationship with the book of Allah, SWT every day but especially during these ten days of Dhul-Hijjah, can’t be emphasized enough. Recite its verses, understand its meaning and guidance; implement in your life and support its implementation in the life of your family, and community members. Further, take the message to others. The continuous relationship with the Quran opens the doors of wisdom and happiness. This then, leads to guidance and success in this life and the Hereafter. 7. Udhiyyah (Slaughter an animal): Ibn Umar said: “The Prophet, SAW lived in Madeenah for ten years and every year he slaughtered an animal.” (Ahmad) Another act of good deed during these ten days is to sacrifice an animal for the sake of Allah. Then distribute the meat to the poor, use some of it, and give some to your relatives. 8. Charity: Give extra charity as much as you can to reap the extra blessings of these days. 9. Salat ul Eid (Eid Prayer): Attending Eid prayers is from the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet, SAW. We should be keen on practicing this Sunnah and performing it according to the teachings of our Prophet, SAW Eid is a time of joy and happiness and we should be inclusive of all of our brothers and sisters who may not be as fortunate to have enough to enjoy this blessed occasion. 10. Shukrulla (Thank Allah): Thanking Allah, SWT deeply, sincerely, and continuously brings His pleasure closer and closer. It is He, SWT who has created us, sustained us through every moment of our life, then He, SWT will not only Judge us on the Day of Judgement but decide our fate beyond that day. Is it not enough for us to understand and thank Him? Thank Him as much as you can during these best days of Dhul Hijjah. Alhamdulillah, there is much to be gained in these coming days. Hasten to do good deeds and appreciate this blessing and make the most of it. _"And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (death)."_� (Qur’an: Al-Hijr, 15:99)

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How to Love, Learn and get Inspired!

Umm Salihah a mom to five children is always curious about life’s little magic. She would love to learn and inspire from the small as well as bug incidents happened in her life. In her opinion blog-happymuslimah.com, she talks about her love, learn and inspire lists. Umm Salihah love to travel and enjoy the travel experience of others. She loves to see and get inspired from great travel images shared through Whatsapp and social media. She loves everything passed through her life. She has got a passion for learning about human behavior, brain, personality, intelligence and socialization. But it had never occurred in a state to her to consider psychology from an Islamic perspective. Soon after she listened to two lectures by Ustadh Nauman Ali Khan on the Islamic view of Psychology, they really made her to think more. Now she is trying to devour anything on the intersection between Islam and Psychology that she can find.

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WHY GET SICK!

This video describes about the unhealthy eating habits, the main cause of sickness in human body. Islam believes that there is a profound relation between the soul and the body. That’s why we worship with our body and believe in bodily resurrection. So, taking care of the body is very important to the Muslims. Most of the sickness today is because of the devices and machines we are using in our daily life. People don’t go out in nature, they don’t feel nature, they don’t breathe properly, they don’t exercise. Interestingly people are getting sick from eating. In surah ‘Araf in the Quran verse number 31, Allah (SWT) says “Eat and drink and do not go in excess, Allah does not love those who excess”. The factor here is how much amount of food we consume. During the Khalifah of Omar (RA), he forbade meat to be eaten two days in a row. But now a day we eat meat every single day. As a result of this over consumption we get sick. Prophet Mohammed (saw) used to exercise, had a flat stomach and he didn’t like fat stomachs. Prophet (saw) once said “The human being (the son of Adam) has not filled any vessel worse than your stomach!” A Muslim should eat as if one third is for food, one third for water and one third for air. Solution is: 1. If we can buy organic, eat organic. 2. Decrease the amount of food we eat. 3. If we can grow our own, of-course we should grow. 4. Read and be very conscious of what we consume.

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