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Pleasurable Parenting: Flexible Reward Chart

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Date: February 12, 2015

Umm Salihah Ahmed, a blog writer and a loving mother tells about a flexible reward chart on pleasurable parenting. The content of the blog can be read in an abridged format as follows:  Children are the focus of our life and we are all on the way to parent them in the best lovable and pleasurable way. She is a compassionate devotee of Islam religion and believes that children are the blessings of Allah and thus we have to treat them in a divine way. Just wipe out the feelings of stress, worries, guilty and cruelty and to start dedicating our life to parent our children. We have to understand the faults of our children, so that we can correct them timely. At the same time we can celebrate their strengths, be gentle in the way we guide them and recognise when the right way to discipline requires a loving approach that tries to identify why a child might be rebelling rather than punishment. The best way to have a good parent is to agree with the qualities of our children first and to lead them to a positive approach to life. By accepting the continuous request from her kids, she has prepared a reward chart for them. The chart incorporated nine broad blogcategories of activity that could generate a reward (or merit) and each child had a different coloured dot to identify who did something good. She also added a bar across the top to show weeks from now to the end of the year.

Precious Gifts a Person Leaves Behind

"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."

Sunan Ibn Mājah

Angelic Daily Prayers for Generosity

"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"

Sahih Bukhari

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Hadiths about Ramadan and fasting

The Importance of Ramadan and Fasting Fasting in the month of Ramadan is one of the five pillars that form the basis of Islam. These pillars lay the foundations of a believer and a Muslim must adhere to them with devotion. Fasting during the month of Ramadan is compulsory, as prescribed by Allah in The Holy Qur’an: *“Ramadan is the month in which the Quran was revealed as a guide for humanity with clear proofs of guidance and the standard ˹to distinguish between right and wrong˺. So whoever is present this month, let them fast. But whoever is ill or on a journey, then ˹let them fast˺ an equal number of days ˹after Ramadan˺. Allah intends ease for you, not hardship, so that you may complete the prescribed period and proclaim the greatness of Allah for guiding you, and perhaps you will be grateful.”* (Al-Quran 2:185) The importance of the month of Ramadan and virtues of fasting are described in numerous ahadith, or sayings of the beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). They highlight the blessed month's merits and rewards, within the traditions of prophet Muhammad (PBUH) related to fasting. The Gates of Mercy are opened Narrated by Abu Huraira: *Allah's Apostle (PBUH) said, "When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1900 When to start fasting Narrated by Ibn Umar: *I heard Allah's Apostle (PBUH) saying, "When you see the crescent (of the month of Ramadan), start fasting, and when you see the crescent (of the month of Shawwal), stop fasting; and if the sky is overcast (and you can't see It) then regard the crescent (month) of Ramadan (as of 30 days)."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1901 Suhur (Pre-dawn meal) Narrated by Anas bin Malik: *The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Take Suhur as there is a blessing in it."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1924 Narrated by Anas: Zaid bin Thabit said, *"We took the Suhur with the Prophet. Then he stood for the prayer." I asked, "What was the interval between the Suhur and the Adhan?" He replied, "The interval was sufficient to recite fifty verses of the Qur'an."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1922 Refraining leads to reward from Allah (SWT) Narrated by Abu Huraira: *Allah's Apostle (PBUH) said, "Fasting is a shield (or a screen or a shelter). So, the person observing fasting should avoid sexual relation with his wife and should not behave foolishly and impudently, and if somebody fights with him or abuses him, he should tell him twice, 'I am fasting." The Prophet added, "By Him in Whose Hands my soul is, the smell coming out from the mouth of a fasting person is better in the sight of Allah than the smell of musk. (Allah says about the fasting person), 'He has left his food, drink and desires for My sake. The fast is for Me. So I will reward (the fasting person) for it and the reward of good deeds is multiplied ten times."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1895 Hasten to break the fast Narrated by Sahl bin Sad: *Allah's Apostle (PBUH) said, "The people will remain on the right path as long as they hasten the breaking of the fast."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1958 Increase in sadaqah and charitable acts Narrated by Ibn 'Abbas: *The Prophet was the most generous amongst the people, and he used to be more so in the month of Ramadan when Gabriel visited him, and Gabriel used to meet him on every night of Ramadan till the end of the month. The Prophet used to recite the Holy Qur'an to Gabriel, and when Gabriel met him, he used to be more generous than a fast wind (which causes rain and welfare).* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1903 Fasting during journey Narrated by Jabir bin 'Abdullah: *Allah's Apostle was on a journey and saw a crowd of people, and a man was being shaded (by them). He asked, "What is the matter?" They said, "He (the man) is fasting." The Prophet said, "It is not righteousness that you fast on a journey."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1947 Maintaining excellent character traits and behaviors while fasting Narrated by Abu Huraira: *The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Whoever does not give up forged speech and evil actions, Allah is not in need of his leaving his food and drink (i.e. Allah will not accept his fasting.)"* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1904 Forgetfully eating or drinking while fasting Narrated by Abu Huraira: *The Prophet (PBUH) said, "If somebody eats something forgetfully while he is fasting, then he should complete his fast, for Allah has made him eat and drink."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 8, Book 83, Hadith 6671 The Night of Qadr – The Night of a Thousand Months Narrated by Abu Huraira: *The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Whoever established prayers on the night of Qadr out of sincere faith and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven; and whoever fasts in the month of Ramadan out of sincere faith, and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1902 Sins will be forgiven Narrated by Abu Huraira: *I heard Allah's Apostle (PBUH) saying regarding Ramadan, "Whoever prayed at night in it (the month of Ramadan) out of sincere Faith and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 2009 May Allah accept this Ramadan from us and forgive the entire Ummah, granting us Jannatul Firdaus because of our actions and intentions this Ramadan. Ameen! The Alim Foundation: NPS / NH; April 20, 2021

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Fasting is a Means of Self-Purification

In the name of God, the Merciful, the Beneficent _O Believers! Fasting is decreed for you as it was decreed for those before you, so that you may remain God-fearing. Fast for a certain number of days. But whoever of you is ill, or on a journey, shall fast, instead of the same number of days later on. Those who find fasting a strain too hard to bear may compensate for it by the feeding of a needy person. He who does good of his own account does himself good thereby, for to fast is to do yourselves good, if you but knew it._ (The Cow, “Al-Baqarah” 2: 183-4) Fasting is a manifestation of man&8217;s determined will and his relationship with his Lord which is based on total submission to Him. It is also a demonstration of man&8217;s deliberate disregard of all his physical needs in order to win Allah&8217;s pleasure. These are necessary elements in the training of the believers so that they are able to bear the hardships of the way they have chosen. On both sides of it, there are all sorts of pleasures and temptations which beckon its travellers, trying to force them off their course. Fasting has numerous advantages for health which continue to be discovered as time passes. It goes without saying that Allah takes into consideration the physical constitution of man. Allah relalizes that man requires help and motivation in order to respond to duty and fulfill it regardless of its benefits. It takes time for man to get used to a certain duty and to be convinced of its wisdom. Hence, the decree of fasting starts with the address made to the believers which reminds them of their essential quality, that is, they believe in Allah. They are then told that fasting has always been a duty required of the believers. Its principal aim is their education and training so that their hearts acquire a high standard of sensitivity and purity and that the fear of Allah is well established in them: “Believers, fasting is decreed for you as it was decreed for those before you, so that you may remain God-fearing.” Fear of Allah To fear Allah, then, is the great aim of fasting which looms large before our eyes. As the believers fulfill this duty, in total obedience of Allah and in pursuit of His pleasure, they feel the quality of fearing Allah to be a life within them. This is indeed the quality which guards their hearts against spoiling their fasting by indulging in sin, even if it is of the type which only passes through the mind. Those who are addressed by the Quran are fully aware of the value Allah attaches to this quality of fearing Allah and being conscious of Him. Its acquirement is something for which they yearn. Fasting is a tool with which it is achieved. Hence, the Quran raises it before them as a noble objective. Allah Wishes to Make Things Easy They are then told that fasting is prescribed only for a certain number of days. Exempted from it, however, are the sick until they have recovered, and the travellers until they have settled: “Fast a certain number of days. But whoever of you is sick, or on journey, shall fast instead the same number of days later on.” Taken at its face value, the statement concerning the exemption of the sick and the travellers is general, unrestricted. Hence any illness or journey is a good reason for exemption from fasting, provided that compensatory fasts are held when those reasons no longer obtain. The purpose of the exemption is that it is Allah&8217;s wish to make things easy, not hard, for man. We cannot claim to have full knowledge of the divine wisdom behind relating this exemption to sickness and travelling generally. There may be some hardships which may not immediately appear to us or we may tend to overlook. Since Allah has not attached this exemption to any particular reason, we refrain from making any judgment concerning it. We obey any statement Allah has made, even if its wisdom does not appear immediately to us. What is certain is that there is a wisdom behind it, whether we recognize it or not. Using the Concessions Some people may fear that such an opinion may cause people to neglect their worship for any reason indeed, this is what has prompted Islamic scholars to adopt a more strict attitude and to lay down conditions. Islam does not compel people to be obedient. Its method is to implant in them the consciousness of Allah so that they obey Him. The acquisition of the quality of fearing Allah is the particular aim of this worship. He who tries to use a certain concession made by Allah in order to evade fulfilling a duty is, in the first place, devoid of goodness. With such an attitude, the aim behind the religious duty cannot be fulfilled. We must not forget that Islam is a religion laid down by Allah. Allah knows best that this religion achieves a perfect balance between the relaxation of certain duties and strict adherence to duty. A certain concession may serve a certain interest which cannot be served otherwise. Indeed, this must be the case. Hence, the Prophet has ordered Muslims to make use of the concession Allah has allowed them. As for the exemption from fasting in cases of illness, it appears that the exemption applies to every case which may be reasonably described as illness, regardless of its nature or intensity. It is compulsory for anyone who makes use of exemption to compensate for the days of Ramadan for which he missed the fasting due to illness or travelling. Each day is compensated for by fasting one day any time during the year.

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Never Drink with Your Left Hand; Why it is a Haram in Islam?

Dr. Bilal Philips, one of the well known Islamic speakers got a wonderful question from the audience once he was chairing a session. “ Can we drink with our left hand?”. For this funny but serious question has an exact answer that every Muslim must understand. He replied that drinking with your left hand is ofcourse a haram for Islam. Do not drink with your left hand. The reason is Satan drinks with his left hand. He says that drinking with your left hand is a major widespread haram in Islam.

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