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Motherhood and Anxieties: A Comment on Hitting

Date: February 12, 2015

This is a blog by a mother about her child’s behaviour at school and her reply to the child to make him the best boy in the world. The incident was all about her child Gorgeous’ trouble making at school by hitting the toilet door while two boys were found together inside the toilet. She realized that best to steer or discipline my children when necessary using reasoning or by displaying anger in a non-violent manner, rather than by hitting. She says that hitting is not the most constructive way to parent and can lead to children expressing their own anger in inappropriate ways such as hitting others and not knowing how to express their frustration appropriately as adults. She also reminds that gentleness with children is part of the sunnah of our beloved Prophet. Now a days the news media channels are continuously streaming stories on child abuse related to sexting and pornography. The government indicates that the development of children is being impacted by an increasingly sexualised environment. Wiping out this bad environment is out of sight. But we can lead our kids in the protected environment with our guidance and affection. And this is a message to all the mothers in this world that moms are the best of their children so that they can share the things or events which hurt them from anywhere and she can cure their wounds of bad feelings.

Precious Gifts a Person Leaves Behind

"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."

Sunan Ibn Mājah

Angelic Daily Prayers for Generosity

"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"

Sahih Bukhari

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Pleasurable Parenting: Flexible Reward Chart

Umm Salihah Ahmed, a blog writer and a loving mother tells about a flexible reward chart on pleasurable parenting. The content of the blog can be read in an abridged format as follows: Children are the focus of our life and we are all on the way to parent them in the best lovable and pleasurable way. She is a compassionate devotee of Islam religion and believes that children are the blessings of Allah and thus we have to treat them in a divine way. Just wipe out the feelings of stress, worries, guilty and cruelty and to start dedicating our life to parent our children. We have to understand the faults of our children, so that we can correct them timely. At the same time we can celebrate their strengths, be gentle in the way we guide them and recognise when the right way to discipline requires a loving approach that tries to identify why a child might be rebelling rather than punishment. The best way to have a good parent is to agree with the qualities of our children first and to lead them to a positive approach to life. By accepting the continuous request from her kids, she has prepared a reward chart for them. The chart incorporated nine broad blogcategories of activity that could generate a reward (or merit) and each child had a different coloured dot to identify who did something good. She also added a bar across the top to show weeks from now to the end of the year.

The Beauty of the phrase, “Bismillahi Ar-Rahmani Ar-Raheem”

Our parents, elders, and teachers have greatly emphasized from our early childhood to start all our activities by saying Bismillah Ar-Rahmani Ar-Raheem. What does this phrase really mean? Most, if not all of us have been explained its meaning also as, “In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful and the Most Compassionate”. When we say “Bismillahi Ar-Rahmani Ar-Raheem”, we are asking Allah’s help which may be different for different people. We want Allah to cure us when we are sick, to enlighten us when we are confused, to feed us when we are hungry, to energize us when we are tired and so on. Allah, the Exalted has different names representing His different attributes like: Al-Hadi, the one who guides; Al-Razzak, the one who provides; As-Salam, the one who delivers peace; and so on. The scholars of Islam have described ninety-nine attributes (names) of Allah, SWT and all of us don’t know all His attributes. Allah, SWT, has honored us with His two beautiful attributes from among the ninety-nine, which HE loves and wants us to remember at every step of our lives. These are AR-RAHMAN and AR-RAHEEM, which when expressed as “Bismillahi Ar-Rahmani Ar-Raheem” embraces all the attributes of Allah (SWT). By saying these words, we are committing and expressing our love for Him (SWT). Simultaneously, we are acknowledging that if we love Allah (SWT) truly, and ask His help in resolving our issues’ then, the resolution will be real. A true Muslim who says these words, with sincere belief in Him, has no reason to be depressed. As genuine believers, we believe in the knowledge, power, and wisdom of Allah, SWT. He is always present for our help. He is unique in everything he does and each of His attributes are unique. Even the word, ALLAH is unique. Allah is pronounced uniquely which says you are dealing with someone like nobody else. It is said that the word “Allah” is originated from “Al- ilah,” which means the one and the only, to be worshiped. Now, back to the phrase, “Bismillahi Ar-Rahmani Ar-Raheem”. The word, “Bismillah”- when you call on that phrase, the believer is to be filled with gratitude as in how many ways Allah has helped us. We go to Allah for all our needs and worries. Then on to, “Ar-Rahman” which means love, care and mercy of Allah (SWT), which is extreme as well as immediate. But, this is temporary like thirst and hunger which needs immediate action to quench the thirst and reduce the hunger. And the second one, “Ar-Raheem”, which is again love, care and mercy of Allah (SWT) but with high degree of His Compassion, that is permanent. So not to worry at all, Allah (SWT) will take care of you immediately and will take care of you on a permanent basis. All we need to do is firmly believe in Him, SWT, the one and only one worthy of worship; submit ourselves to Him as His obedient servants, take all guidance from Him as practiced by our beloved Prophet Mohammad, SAW and complete all actions of our lives starting with “Bismillahi Ar-Rahmani Ar-Raheem;” and ending with thanking Him, SWT. This is the desired life of a Muslim.

How to keep away of quarrels in a joint family?

Mufti Menk answered wisely to a question on how to keep away of quarrels in a joint family especially between husband&8217;s relatives and daughter in law. He says that often a mom or dad cannot love their daughter in law as equal as they love their daughter or son. In Islamic way, we must keep away quarrels and must be united in a family life. The best solution is that to live separately with her husband and children and to visit home in occasions such as Eid, Bakrid etc. Islamically, women deserve a dignity, respect and privacy at home. Living together does not provide unity in Islam. But respecting others will produce unity in Islam.