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Motherhood and Anxieties: A Comment on Hitting

Date: February 12, 2015

This is a blog by a mother about her child’s behaviour at school and her reply to the child to make him the best boy in the world. The incident was all about her child Gorgeous’ trouble making at school by hitting the toilet door while two boys were found together inside the toilet. She realized that best to steer or discipline my children when necessary using reasoning or by displaying anger in a non-violent manner, rather than by hitting. She says that hitting is not the most constructive way to parent and can lead to children expressing their own anger in inappropriate ways such as hitting others and not knowing how to express their frustration appropriately as adults. She also reminds that gentleness with children is part of the sunnah of our beloved Prophet. Now a days the news media channels are continuously streaming stories on child abuse related to sexting and pornography. The government indicates that the development of children is being impacted by an increasingly sexualised environment. Wiping out this bad environment is out of sight. But we can lead our kids in the protected environment with our guidance and affection. And this is a message to all the mothers in this world that moms are the best of their children so that they can share the things or events which hurt them from anywhere and she can cure their wounds of bad feelings.

Precious Gifts a Person Leaves Behind

"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."

Sunan Ibn Mājah

Angelic Daily Prayers for Generosity

"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"

Sahih Bukhari

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Pleasurable Parenting: Flexible Reward Chart

Umm Salihah Ahmed, a blog writer and a loving mother tells about a flexible reward chart on pleasurable parenting. The content of the blog can be read in an abridged format as follows: Children are the focus of our life and we are all on the way to parent them in the best lovable and pleasurable way. She is a compassionate devotee of Islam religion and believes that children are the blessings of Allah and thus we have to treat them in a divine way. Just wipe out the feelings of stress, worries, guilty and cruelty and to start dedicating our life to parent our children. We have to understand the faults of our children, so that we can correct them timely. At the same time we can celebrate their strengths, be gentle in the way we guide them and recognise when the right way to discipline requires a loving approach that tries to identify why a child might be rebelling rather than punishment. The best way to have a good parent is to agree with the qualities of our children first and to lead them to a positive approach to life. By accepting the continuous request from her kids, she has prepared a reward chart for them. The chart incorporated nine broad blogcategories of activity that could generate a reward (or merit) and each child had a different coloured dot to identify who did something good. She also added a bar across the top to show weeks from now to the end of the year.

Benefits of Fasting

How quickly time flies…just about three weeks ago Ramadan began and Muslims around the world commenced their first fast and today it is approaching its last ten days. Now of course we all know that fasting is important spiritually as it teaches us to be patient, be self-aware, and to have restraint (“O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint.” al-Qur'an 2:183). But did you know there are many physical and mental benefits of fasting? Let’s start with physical benefits: • weight Loss - Normally, the body uses glucose for energy and keeps fat as “reserve” energy. But while fasting the body begins to use fat as its main source of energy. Why does this matter? Essentially you are burning fat which entails to weight loss. However, keep in mind due to this occurring, the food you eat before and after fasting is absorbed much more quickly and powerfully. So if you break your fast with fried fatty foods, you will gain more weight than you will lose. In the same way, if you eat more nutritionally rich foods, then you will be much more energized. • Giving your body a break - As you fast your metabolism slows down and less of your energy is directed towards breaking down food. 650f your body’s energy is directed towards digesting your food in a day. In a way, you are resting your body by fasting! • Repairing the body – Since less of your energy is directed to breaking down food, the body spends more time repairing the body by producing more white blood cells. White blood cells are the body’s main source of protection against diseases and ailments. This helps tremendously for patients recovering from cancer as during chemotherapy many of the white blood cells are destroyed in the cancer cell eradication process. • Detox – As you fast the toxins stored in your body are dissolved. No special juice or greens needed. Alright now that we’ve listed a few great physical benefits let’s move onto some mental benefits: • General mental well-being – After a few days of fasting, the production of endorphins increases tremendously leading to a happier sense of self and increased alertness. • It decreases feelings of depression – BDNF (Brain-derived neurotic factor) is a protein that interacts with neurons in the parts of the brain that regulate memory, learning, and higher cognitive function and helps to spur synapses (which pass signals from one neuron to the next) and new neurons. Depression occurs when there is a lack of serotonin production as well as a miscommunication between the synapses. Since the brain can focus on functions other than food digestion, it can produce more BDNF. • Aids in Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s – Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s are neurodegenerative diseases. This means that they occur when the brain is not producing enough neurons. Fasting could help mitigate this issue; since the brain produces more BDNF while fasting (which aids in the production of neurons and synapses) then it will be more unlikely for a person to be deficient in neurons. • More Sleep – A study in 2003 by Michaelson et. al. found that after 8 days of fasting those who fasted were much more likely to get better sleep than those who did not fast. Time and time again Islam proves itself as an enduring religion. Whether it is through salat or fasting, Islam continues to show us the many faceted benefits of our way of life. Sources: 1. "Fasting and Your Health." - Live Well. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 July 2014. http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Healthyramadan/Pages/fastingandhealth.aspx 2. "Fasting for Mental Health: Does It Work? - Mind the Science Gap." Mind the Science Gap RSS. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 July 2014. http://www.marksdailyapple.com/fasting-brain-function/axzz37MsEbQbn 3. "Fasting for Mental Health: Does It Work? - Mind the Science Gap." Mind the Science Gap RSS. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 July 2014. http://www.mindthesciencegap.org/2013/04/10/fasting-for-mental-health-does-it-work/

Body Image-Reality and Standards

Mr.Altaf Hussain delivered a wonderful speech at MSA National on body image-reality and standards. When you get ready in the morning, did you think about how Allah created you? Body image is nothing in Islam and it is completely contradictory in Islam. Beauty lies in our soul and behavior. Allah knows our inner wishes, our soul, each and every move of us. Be healthy and hold on your wonderful life with family. Allah expects this one motto from you. Black tears are never shed from our eyes. So body image is nothing about whitish, black or white. It’s all about inner beauty and reality of life. Go to people who trust you and whom can trust you. Never get in a company with people who do backbiting or marketing themselves. People should live with a conversation that can admit everybody. As a whole he says that women and men should believe Allah. Women and men should maintain their modesty and never disobey their creator.