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Motherhood and Anxieties: A Comment on Hitting

Date: February 12, 2015

This is a blog by a mother about her child’s behaviour at school and her reply to the child to make him the best boy in the world. The incident was all about her child Gorgeous’ trouble making at school by hitting the toilet door while two boys were found together inside the toilet. She realized that best to steer or discipline my children when necessary using reasoning or by displaying anger in a non-violent manner, rather than by hitting. She says that hitting is not the most constructive way to parent and can lead to children expressing their own anger in inappropriate ways such as hitting others and not knowing how to express their frustration appropriately as adults. She also reminds that gentleness with children is part of the sunnah of our beloved Prophet. Now a days the news media channels are continuously streaming stories on child abuse related to sexting and pornography. The government indicates that the development of children is being impacted by an increasingly sexualised environment. Wiping out this bad environment is out of sight. But we can lead our kids in the protected environment with our guidance and affection. And this is a message to all the mothers in this world that moms are the best of their children so that they can share the things or events which hurt them from anywhere and she can cure their wounds of bad feelings.

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THE FIRST TEN DAYS OF DHUL HIJJAH

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, it is the Greatness of our Lord Allah, Subhanahu Wa Taala (SWT(the Exalted))who has honored us with blessed days and blessed nights throughout the entire year. Friday is the best day of the week; Ramadan, the best month of the year;and the last ten nights of Ramadan,the best nights of Ramadan. Then, there is one night inthe last ten best nights of Ramadan, Lailatul Qadr, that is better than one thousand months (Qur’an: Al-Qadr, 97:1). Additionally, Allah SWT has chosen to give us another ten highly blessed days: first ten days of Dhul Hijjah. These are the best days of the year. The significance of these first days of Dhul Hijjah, is emphasized by our beloved Prophet, Mohammad, Sallalahu Alaihi Wassallama (SAW): "No good deeds done on other days are superior to those done on these (first ten days of Dhul Hijjah)." Then some companions of the Prophet said, "Not even Jihad?" He replied, "Not even Jihad, except that of a man who does it by putting himself and his property in danger (for Allah's sake) and does not return with any of those things." (Bukhari) Alhamdulillah, Allah, SWT continually showers upon us with His Blessings day and night all our lives without any end to it. Do we have to do anything in return? Yes, we do! We need to thank deeply and heavily. The ten best blessed days of Dhul Hijjah are upon us. Here are some of the ways our scholars recommend to thank Allah, SWT: 1. Hajj (Pilgrimage): It is the first and the foremost best deed during these ten days. It is an obligation upon every able and capable Muslim and Muslimah. Upon completion of Hajj one receives the greater blessings in terms of complete forgiveness from all sins by Allah, SWT. 2. Sawm (Fasting): The second-bestdeed,for those who can’t undertake the Hajj, is to fast first nine days. And if it not possible then at least fast the ninth day, the Day of Arafat (the actual day of Hajj). The Prophet, SAW said: “Anyone who fasts for one day for Allah’s pleasure, Allah will keep his face away from the (Hell) fire for (a distance covered by a journey of) seventy years.” (Bukhari, Muslim). Additionally, he, SAW emphasized about the fast on the ninth day of Dhul-Hijjah saying: “Fasting the Day of ‘Arafat (ninth Dhul-Hijjah) is an expiation for (all the sins of) the previous year and expiation for (all the sins of) the coming year.” (Muslim) 3. Tadhkir/Dhikr:Recite the following Tasbihaat as much and as often as possible during these ten days: Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar La ilaha illallah Wa Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar Walil Lahil Hamd. The Prophet, SAW said: “There are no days on which good deeds are greater or more beloved to Allah than on these ten days, so recite much Tahleel (saying Laa ilaaha ill-Allah), Takbeer (saying Allahu Akbar) and Tahmeed (saying Alhamdu Lillaah).” 4. Salat-ut Tahajjud (Nightly Prayer): This prayer is observed during the last part of the night before the start of Fajr prayer time. To seekthe bounty, forgiveness, and the pleasure of Allah, SWT, this is the best time to supplicate (pray) to Him that is highly beloved to Him.This is the time when He, SWT calls upon His servants: “Is there anyone to invoke Me, so that I may respond to his invocation? Is there anyone to ask Me, so that I may grant him his request? Is there anyone seeking My forgiveness, so that I may forgive him?” (Bukhari, Muslim) Let us take the advantage of His blessings every day but essentially during theseten best days of the year. 5. Istighfar (Repentance): Another deed that pleases Allah, SWT much is to return to Him after committing sins and mistakes. One should feel guilty for own sins and mistakes, commit to Allah, SWT to not ever return to them, and then seek His forgiveness sincerely. Assure that this good deed is done on every such occasion but during these days extra benefits will be reaped.Allah, SWT says, “But as for him who repented, believed and did righteous deeds, then he will be among those who are successful.” (Quran: Al-Qasas, 28:67) 6. Recite Al-Quran (Read the Book of Allah): Communication and continuous relationship with the book of Allah, SWT every day but especially during these ten days of Dhul-Hijjah, can’t be emphasized enough. Recite its verses, understand its meaning and guidance; implement in your life and support its implementation in the life of your family, and community members. Further, take the message to others. The continuous relationship with the Quran opens the doors of wisdom and happiness. This then, leads to guidance and success in this life and the Hereafter. 7. Udhiyyah (Slaughter an animal): Ibn Umar said: “The Prophet, SAW lived in Madeenah for ten years and every year he slaughtered an animal.” (Ahmad) Another act of good deed during these ten days is to sacrifice an animal for the sake of Allah. Then distribute the meat to the poor, use some of it, and give some to your relatives. 8. Charity: Give extra charity as much as you can to reap the extra blessings of these days. 9. Salat ul Eid (Eid Prayer): Attending Eid prayers is from the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet, SAW. We should be keen on practicing this Sunnah and performing it according to the teachings of our Prophet, SAW Eid is a time of joy and happiness and we should be inclusive of all of our brothers and sisters who may not be as fortunate to have enough to enjoy this blessed occasion. 10. Shukrulla (Thank Allah): Thanking Allah, SWT deeply, sincerely, and continuously brings His pleasure closer and closer. It is He, SWT who has created us, sustained us through every moment of our life, then He, SWT will not only Judge us on the Day of Judgement but decide our fate beyond that day. Is it not enough for us to understand and thank Him? Thank Him as much as you can during these best days of Dhul Hijjah. Alhamdulillah, there is much to be gained in these coming days. Hasten to do good deeds and appreciate this blessing and make the most of it. _"And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (death)."_� (Qur’an: Al-Hijr, 15:99)

In Search of Truth! French Convert is Now King’s Guest for Haj!

Alexander, a French pilgrim who embraced Islam and adopted his Muslim name, Hamza is recently blessed by King Abdullah to do Haj as his guest. The King was in great happiness and proud of Hamza’s sacrifice to Islam religion that he drove 7,000 km in his car with his wife to perform Umrah in Makkah. He is s now in Makkah as the guest of Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Abdullah for Haj. He was in search for the truth and found that Islam is the religion of peace and truth and the man is now happy to embrace the world’s great religion. As there are millions of devotees across world who wish to perform Umrah/Haj in Makkah, Hamza was in the last queue to have an Umrah visa. But his devotion and sacrifice to Allah helped him to be in the golden list of King’s guests. And now he is in the divine route to pray at the Grand Mosque in Makkah. It was the entire Almighty’s compassion that we have been selected as one of 1,000 guest pilgrims of King Abdullah to perform Haj this year. I could not believe my ears.”- Says Hamza. Hamza intends to study Islamic law to gain more knowledge about the religion and spread its message among others.

Suicide: The Worst Sin in Islam

This is a wonderful article on suicide and its haram in Islam. The author of this article Saba Malik shares some knowledge he got from a depression mastery seminar by a prominent Muslim Shaykh, eight years back. Suicide is a sin in Islam. But the author still wonders that by knowing the fact that suicide is a bad activity, why Muslims still tries to kill themselves. Once the seminar finished, the author went up and asked the Shaykh that if a Muslim attempts or commits suicide, what happens to him. The Shaykh answered that definitely, he will go to hell. Mental illness, hallucinations, diseases, financial conditions, family problems etc. can cause one to commit suicide. Depression can be treated with some of the tools practiced in our day to day life and concentration. Following steps are helpful to avoid depression. 1. Regular salah 2. Medication 3. Psychotherapy or cognitive behavioral therapy 4. Regular exercise 5. Healthy eating 6. Good sleep hygiene 7. Keeping up with physical hygiene 8. Active and meaningful social relationships 9. Support groups or blog 10.Giving back to your community Dr. Al-Khater says that apart from the above tools, situational depression can be alleviated by practicing the following tools: 1. Using the Islamic creed 2. Doing righteous deeds 3. Offering salah and reciting prayers 4. Contemplating the worst cases 5. Having good opinions 6. Living with a realistic – not idealistic – point of view 7. Behaving well towards other and yourself 8. Having hope Above all, prayer and preach Allah is the best solution to forget the thoughts about committing suicide.

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