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Motherhood and Anxieties: A Comment on Hitting

Date: February 12, 2015

This is a blog by a mother about her child’s behaviour at school and her reply to the child to make him the best boy in the world. The incident was all about her child Gorgeous’ trouble making at school by hitting the toilet door while two boys were found together inside the toilet. She realized that best to steer or discipline my children when necessary using reasoning or by displaying anger in a non-violent manner, rather than by hitting. She says that hitting is not the most constructive way to parent and can lead to children expressing their own anger in inappropriate ways such as hitting others and not knowing how to express their frustration appropriately as adults. She also reminds that gentleness with children is part of the sunnah of our beloved Prophet. Now a days the news media channels are continuously streaming stories on child abuse related to sexting and pornography. The government indicates that the development of children is being impacted by an increasingly sexualised environment. Wiping out this bad environment is out of sight. But we can lead our kids in the protected environment with our guidance and affection. And this is a message to all the mothers in this world that moms are the best of their children so that they can share the things or events which hurt them from anywhere and she can cure their wounds of bad feelings.

Precious Gifts a Person Leaves Behind

"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."

Sunan Ibn Mājah

Angelic Daily Prayers for Generosity

"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"

Sahih Bukhari

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Pleasurable Parenting: Flexible Reward Chart

Umm Salihah Ahmed, a blog writer and a loving mother tells about a flexible reward chart on pleasurable parenting. The content of the blog can be read in an abridged format as follows: Children are the focus of our life and we are all on the way to parent them in the best lovable and pleasurable way. She is a compassionate devotee of Islam religion and believes that children are the blessings of Allah and thus we have to treat them in a divine way. Just wipe out the feelings of stress, worries, guilty and cruelty and to start dedicating our life to parent our children. We have to understand the faults of our children, so that we can correct them timely. At the same time we can celebrate their strengths, be gentle in the way we guide them and recognise when the right way to discipline requires a loving approach that tries to identify why a child might be rebelling rather than punishment. The best way to have a good parent is to agree with the qualities of our children first and to lead them to a positive approach to life. By accepting the continuous request from her kids, she has prepared a reward chart for them. The chart incorporated nine broad blogcategories of activity that could generate a reward (or merit) and each child had a different coloured dot to identify who did something good. She also added a bar across the top to show weeks from now to the end of the year.

Hadiths about Ramadan and fasting

The Importance of Ramadan and Fasting Fasting in the month of Ramadan is one of the five pillars that form the basis of Islam. These pillars lay the foundations of a believer and a Muslim must adhere to them with devotion. Fasting during the month of Ramadan is compulsory, as prescribed by Allah in The Holy Qur’an: *“Ramadan is the month in which the Quran was revealed as a guide for humanity with clear proofs of guidance and the standard ˹to distinguish between right and wrong˺. So whoever is present this month, let them fast. But whoever is ill or on a journey, then ˹let them fast˺ an equal number of days ˹after Ramadan˺. Allah intends ease for you, not hardship, so that you may complete the prescribed period and proclaim the greatness of Allah for guiding you, and perhaps you will be grateful.”* (Al-Quran 2:185) The importance of the month of Ramadan and virtues of fasting are described in numerous ahadith, or sayings of the beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). They highlight the blessed month's merits and rewards, within the traditions of prophet Muhammad (PBUH) related to fasting. The Gates of Mercy are opened Narrated by Abu Huraira: *Allah's Apostle (PBUH) said, "When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1900 When to start fasting Narrated by Ibn Umar: *I heard Allah's Apostle (PBUH) saying, "When you see the crescent (of the month of Ramadan), start fasting, and when you see the crescent (of the month of Shawwal), stop fasting; and if the sky is overcast (and you can't see It) then regard the crescent (month) of Ramadan (as of 30 days)."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1901 Suhur (Pre-dawn meal) Narrated by Anas bin Malik: *The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Take Suhur as there is a blessing in it."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1924 Narrated by Anas: Zaid bin Thabit said, *"We took the Suhur with the Prophet. Then he stood for the prayer." I asked, "What was the interval between the Suhur and the Adhan?" He replied, "The interval was sufficient to recite fifty verses of the Qur'an."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1922 Refraining leads to reward from Allah (SWT) Narrated by Abu Huraira: *Allah's Apostle (PBUH) said, "Fasting is a shield (or a screen or a shelter). So, the person observing fasting should avoid sexual relation with his wife and should not behave foolishly and impudently, and if somebody fights with him or abuses him, he should tell him twice, 'I am fasting." The Prophet added, "By Him in Whose Hands my soul is, the smell coming out from the mouth of a fasting person is better in the sight of Allah than the smell of musk. (Allah says about the fasting person), 'He has left his food, drink and desires for My sake. The fast is for Me. So I will reward (the fasting person) for it and the reward of good deeds is multiplied ten times."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1895 Hasten to break the fast Narrated by Sahl bin Sad: *Allah's Apostle (PBUH) said, "The people will remain on the right path as long as they hasten the breaking of the fast."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1958 Increase in sadaqah and charitable acts Narrated by Ibn 'Abbas: *The Prophet was the most generous amongst the people, and he used to be more so in the month of Ramadan when Gabriel visited him, and Gabriel used to meet him on every night of Ramadan till the end of the month. The Prophet used to recite the Holy Qur'an to Gabriel, and when Gabriel met him, he used to be more generous than a fast wind (which causes rain and welfare).* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1903 Fasting during journey Narrated by Jabir bin 'Abdullah: *Allah's Apostle was on a journey and saw a crowd of people, and a man was being shaded (by them). He asked, "What is the matter?" They said, "He (the man) is fasting." The Prophet said, "It is not righteousness that you fast on a journey."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1947 Maintaining excellent character traits and behaviors while fasting Narrated by Abu Huraira: *The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Whoever does not give up forged speech and evil actions, Allah is not in need of his leaving his food and drink (i.e. Allah will not accept his fasting.)"* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1904 Forgetfully eating or drinking while fasting Narrated by Abu Huraira: *The Prophet (PBUH) said, "If somebody eats something forgetfully while he is fasting, then he should complete his fast, for Allah has made him eat and drink."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 8, Book 83, Hadith 6671 The Night of Qadr – The Night of a Thousand Months Narrated by Abu Huraira: *The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Whoever established prayers on the night of Qadr out of sincere faith and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven; and whoever fasts in the month of Ramadan out of sincere faith, and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 1902 Sins will be forgiven Narrated by Abu Huraira: *I heard Allah's Apostle (PBUH) saying regarding Ramadan, "Whoever prayed at night in it (the month of Ramadan) out of sincere Faith and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven."* Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 3, Book 30, Hadith 2009 May Allah accept this Ramadan from us and forgive the entire Ummah, granting us Jannatul Firdaus because of our actions and intentions this Ramadan. Ameen! The Alim Foundation: NPS / NH; April 20, 2021

Not a Trouble, But a Gift

You may be going through a difficult time in your life and the situation might be very tough for you to handle. Never think like you are in the dead end of life. Allah can create all difficulties in you. But just think that it’s all his examination on you to know whether you are a stubborn or weak person. Everyone has different attitudes; some people are impatient, some are restless, some are distrusting, some are uneasy, some are prone to negativity and others are quick to anger. Troubles, sickness, losses and deficiencies are all blessings for one to overcome these flaws, beautify his soul, and improve his moral values. Allah knows that what every individual needs and not. Be a good believer of Allah and it will strengthen your spirit. Allah creates different events for everyone on Earth. Often, you may go through rebellious states of your personality. But just think that, this is all the witchcraft of Satan. Our Lord knows best what people can cope with and how much. Allah is infinitely just and forbearing toward his servants. Allah believers never lose their joy and faith if there is a pitfall in their life they will wait and try for the good time with prayers and thanks giving to the almighty.