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Motherhood and Anxieties: A Comment on Hitting

Date: February 12, 2015

This is a blog by a mother about her child’s behaviour at school and her reply to the child to make him the best boy in the world. The incident was all about her child Gorgeous’ trouble making at school by hitting the toilet door while two boys were found together inside the toilet. She realized that best to steer or discipline my children when necessary using reasoning or by displaying anger in a non-violent manner, rather than by hitting. She says that hitting is not the most constructive way to parent and can lead to children expressing their own anger in inappropriate ways such as hitting others and not knowing how to express their frustration appropriately as adults. She also reminds that gentleness with children is part of the sunnah of our beloved Prophet. Now a days the news media channels are continuously streaming stories on child abuse related to sexting and pornography. The government indicates that the development of children is being impacted by an increasingly sexualised environment. Wiping out this bad environment is out of sight. But we can lead our kids in the protected environment with our guidance and affection. And this is a message to all the mothers in this world that moms are the best of their children so that they can share the things or events which hurt them from anywhere and she can cure their wounds of bad feelings.

Precious Gifts a Person Leaves Behind

"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."

Sunan Ibn Mājah

Angelic Daily Prayers for Generosity

"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"

Sahih Bukhari

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Welcoming Muharram, the Month of Allah

The Islamic calendar consists of twelve months, the first of which is the month of Muharram. The name “Muharram” is derived from the word “haram,” which means forbidden or impermissible, as it is considered unlawful to engage in any war or fighting during this month. This was the case even before the advent of Islam for the people of Makkah and surrounding tribes. Muharram can also be defined as “sacred,” and it is a blessed month which has been mentioned by God Almighty, Allah, in the Qur’an as one of the four sacred months of the Islamic lunar calendar. Allah says: “Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve months (in a year), so was it ordained by Allah on the Day when He created the heavens and the earth; of them four are Sacred, (i.e. the 1st, the 7th, the 11th and the 12th months of the Islamic calendar). That is the right religion, so wrong not yourselves therein.” (9:36) In this verse, Allah mentions the four most sacred months of the year, the 1st, which is Muharram, Rajab, the 7th, and Dhul Qadah and Dhul Hijjah, which are the 11th and 12th, respectively. The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, confirmed this in a hadith narrated by Abu Bakrah, in which he said, “… The year is twelve months, of which four are sacred: three consecutive months, Dhul Qadah, Dhul Hijjah and Muharram, and Rajab of Mudar which comes between Jumada and Shabaan.” (Bukhari) Not only is Muharram sacred, but also referred to as the month of Allah, as mentioned by the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, when he said, “The best fast after Ramadan is in the month of Allah, Muharram.” (Muslim) From this hadith, it is understood that the month of Muharram has a unique status with Allah, given the honor of being associated with His glorious name. Another lesson that can be extracted from this saying of the Prophet is that fasting during the month of Muharram is recommended. This fast is even compared to that of Ramadan, one of the pillars of Islam, to emphasize its importance. There is one particular day during the month of Muharram in which it is highly encouraged to fast, and that is the day of Ashura. The day of Ashura coincides with the 10th of Muharram. Several authentic reports in the books of ahadith note that fasting on the day of Ashura was a popular practice even before Islam was established. Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him, came to Madinah and saw the Jews fasting on the day of Ashura. He asked, “What is this day you are fasting?” They responded, “This is a good day; this is the day when Allah saved the Children of Israel from their enemy and Musa (Moses) fasted on this day.” The Prophet said, “We are closer to Musa than you.” So he fasted on this day and told the people to fast. (Bukhari and Muslim) In fact, before the fast of Ramadan was made obligatory for the Muslims, the Prophet, peace be upon him, ordered his followers to fast on the day of Ashura. Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said that fasting on the day of Ashura became voluntary only after fasting the month of Ramadan was made compulsory. (Muslim) Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, also reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Fast the Day of Ashura and be different from the Jews by fasting a day before it or a day after it.” (Ahmad) This is the reason why Muslims often fast the 9th and 10th of Muharram or the 10th and 11th of Muharram. There are immense rewards associated with fasting in general. Allah says in a hadith qudsi: “Every action of the son of Adam is his, except for fasting. It is Mine, and it is I who reward it.” (Bukhari and Muslim) Of course, it is Allah who will assess a believer’s worship and ultimately reward or punish mankind for his deeds. However, fasting is an action which is private, unlike prayer, charity, and even the pilgrimage. No one can “see” another person fasting; and thus, only Allah knows whether or not that individual is upholding his fast. Given that the month of Muharram is the month of Allah, it can be presumed that the reward will be great, in accordance with the status of this sacred month. The Prophet, peace be upon him, did expound on some of the recompense for fasting the day of Ashura. He is recorded as saying, “I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of Arafa may atone for the sins of the preceding and the coming years, and I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of Ashura may atone for the sins of the preceding year.” (Muslim) In another hadith in Sahih Muslim, when he was asked about the reward for fasting the day of Ashura, he clearly stated that it was an expiation for the sins of the previous year. Many other narrations speak about the virtues of the day of Ashura and the month of Muharram in general. No doubt the month of Muharram is blessed and the believers should take advantage of this time to increase in their ibaadah, by virtue of fasting, remembering Allah much, praying, and giving in charity. The Prophet said, “The best fasting after Ramadan is the month of Allah, Muharram, and the best prayer after the obligatory prayer is prayer at night.” (Muslim) At the very least, one should strive to fast on the day of Ashura, which was a practice of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and his companions. While the Muslim community does not hold a celebration for the coming of the “New Year,” Muslims are encouraged to embrace the first month of the Islamic calendar by performing good deeds and as a result, set the stage for a fruitful year, insha’Allah.

PARENTS IN OUR LIFE

Islam is a religion which teaches us to be dutiful and to show respect to our parents. Allah (SWT) has gifted us with parents which we did not choose, instead HE chose them for us. The Supreme Maker took this decision as a test for them as well as for us. This is the reason why Allah (SWT) says we should be kind to our parents. Parents are given the next highest status after Allah (SWT) and his Prophets. We are blessed with parents who guide us and love us from the beginning of our lives. A baby needs the guidance and support of a human being for survival. If we were not looked after by our mother we would have died. It is the duty of the parent to feed the child and accommodate the child and to have a good relationship with the child. It is said in a hadith: A man came to the Prophet (SAW) and asked him: _“O” Messenger of Allah, who among people is more deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Then your father". (Bukhari and Muslim) Children are a trust given to the parents by the ALMIGHTY. HE has given them the power to guide them and to build them as a good human being, but He has given the parents a boundary step which they should not cross to achieve something they want as it is the right of the children to make a choice. If the children make a wrong decision it is the duty of the parents to guide them and tell them and to convince them about this choice. A parent should always try to be the role model of the child by doing good things. Parents should be like friends with their children so that they can run to you without fear when they need to tell you something. As our parents do all these for us we owe to them respect and kindness. Even after the death of our parents we should pray, give charity on their behalf and perform dua for them.

What is Hijra?

The Arabic word Hijra means migration. It marks the beginning of the new year in the Islamic calendar and refers to the migration of Muhammad (SAW) and his companions, from Mecca to Madina. The Hijra was a great historical event marking a significant change in Islamic history. The early Muslims gained a position of strength and authority following the Hijra. The Hijri calendar was adopted during the Khilafah (successorship) of Umar Ibn-Khathab (RA). Umar (RA) rejected many other suggestions to start the Islamic calendar, including the birth and death of the Muhammad (SAW). He stated, "The Hijra has separated truth from falsehood, therefore, let it become the Epoch of the Era" (Fath Al-Bari, Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani). Muhammad (SAW) publicly preached Islam in Mecca for more than a decade when the opposition was at its peak. The believers were harassed, abused and even cruelly tortured. Afraid for their safety, Muhammad (SAW) sent a group of Muslims to Abyssinia (now known as Ethiopia) where the Christian ruler extended protection to the Sahabahs. Shortly after that, Muhammad (SAW) sent seventy others to Yathrib (later re-named Madina) with the hope of establishing a new beginning for Islam. When Muhammad (SAW) set off for Yathrib with his closest friend, Abu-Bakr as-Siddique (RA), the leaders of Mecca decided to have him killed. They put a bounty on his head and sent people in pursuit. Muhammad (SAW) and Abu Bakr (RA) hid in a cave where Allah protected them from their assassins. Allah says,�"_It does not matter if you believers do not support him, for Allah did in fact support him when the disbelievers drove him out of Mecca, and he was only one of two. While they both were in the cave, he reassured his companion,�'Do not worry; Allah is certainly with us'. So, Allah sent down His serenity upon the Prophet, supported him with forces you believers did not see, and made the word of the disbelievers lowest, while the Word of Allah is supreme. And Allah is Almighty, All-Wise."_ (Quran, 9:40) The early Muslims made great sacrifices to move to Madina (Hijra) to begin the first ever Islamic community. Allah says,_"As for those who emigrated in the cause of Allah after being persecuted, We will surely bless them with a good home in this world. But the reward of the Hereafter is far better, if only they knew."_ (Quran, 16:41) Muhammad (SAW) and his followers were joyously welcomed by the people of Madina (the Ansar or "helpers"). Muhammad (SAW) established a concept of brotherhood among the Muslims and unity with the non-Muslim communities, including the Jewish tribes. The Hijra from Mecca to Madina marked the Muslims' transition from one stage to another on several different levels. They went from a position of weakness to one of strength. In Mecca, they were humiliated and abused at the hands of Quraysh, in Medina they were the ones with power. They went from spreading Islam individually in Mecca, to converting whole nations at a time in Medina. From implementing Islam individually in Mecca, to implementing a full, comprehensive, political, and economic system that governed a nation in every aspect of life. From being a small group of believers in Mecca to, becoming the heart of an Islamic nation encompassing Muslims in multiple countries. The Alim Foundation: NPS / NH; September 29, 2020