Date: February 12, 2015
This is a blog by a mother about her child’s behaviour at school and her reply to the child to make him the best boy in the world. The incident was all about her child Gorgeous’ trouble making at school by hitting the toilet door while two boys were found together inside the toilet. She realized that best to steer or discipline my children when necessary using reasoning or by displaying anger in a non-violent manner, rather than by hitting. She says that hitting is not the most constructive way to parent and can lead to children expressing their own anger in inappropriate ways such as hitting others and not knowing how to express their frustration appropriately as adults. She also reminds that gentleness with children is part of the sunnah of our beloved Prophet. Now a days the news media channels are continuously streaming stories on child abuse related to sexting and pornography. The government indicates that the development of children is being impacted by an increasingly sexualised environment. Wiping out this bad environment is out of sight. But we can lead our kids in the protected environment with our guidance and affection. And this is a message to all the mothers in this world that moms are the best of their children so that they can share the things or events which hurt them from anywhere and she can cure their wounds of bad feelings.
"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."
Sunan Ibn Mājah
"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"
Sahih Bukhari
Umm Salihah Ahmed, a blog writer and a loving mother tells about a flexible reward chart on pleasurable parenting. The content of the blog can be read in an abridged format as follows: Children are the focus of our life and we are all on the way to parent them in the best lovable and pleasurable way. She is a compassionate devotee of Islam religion and believes that children are the blessings of Allah and thus we have to treat them in a divine way. Just wipe out the feelings of stress, worries, guilty and cruelty and to start dedicating our life to parent our children. We have to understand the faults of our children, so that we can correct them timely. At the same time we can celebrate their strengths, be gentle in the way we guide them and recognise when the right way to discipline requires a loving approach that tries to identify why a child might be rebelling rather than punishment. The best way to have a good parent is to agree with the qualities of our children first and to lead them to a positive approach to life. By accepting the continuous request from her kids, she has prepared a reward chart for them. The chart incorporated nine broad blogcategories of activity that could generate a reward (or merit) and each child had a different coloured dot to identify who did something good. She also added a bar across the top to show weeks from now to the end of the year.
Read MoreShahroz, a pure devotee of Allah expresses his thoughts, learning and healings come from a conversation with Allah. He is speaking about himself and how he don’t need to turn to certain things, even with any issue that we have to realize any healing comes from a conversation with Allah. He dedicates a song to Allah explaining how to heal mental illness. Shahroz explains that when he gets into a mental illness or frustrated mood, he just follow the Sunnah with persistence. He does not need a medicaid or medication to alleviate his pain. Allah’s wonderful life and role model preaching are the best blessings upon him- says Shahroz.
Read MoreI was born and brought up in a family that my parents had great expectation in my studies. I used to get stereotyped questions like why you didn&8217;t score A+ for all subjects like the neighbor kids. My parents always compared me to neighbour kids, their career, looks, likes etc. In any case, none of us just ever seemed to be good enough. Even If they are telling these all for my growth, I just felt like it&8217;s so unfair to say so all the time. Now the days passed and I am an elderly person now. Now when I look back, there is a different perspective for the things my parents did. There are things I look at and think “did they do that just for us?” When my mum worked as a seamstress for 12 hours a day on very small wages to give us the things we wanted. My perspective as a mum made me to think about why they always held such high standards and why we could never meet them. Now I have children and it made me think about whether I ever put my children in the same position. I don&8217;t like to compare my children to others. All people are born with different values and capabilities and Allah is there to help them in every situations. I consider to love them unconditionally always regardless of what they did. Even if we hadn&8217;t really experienced the unconditional love from our parents, we must know that our children need it. Each of us can feel the unconditional love by giving it to ourselves.
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