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Date: April 17, 2015
Can anyone justify that shouting your wife is a good thing? There is never a justifiable reason to shout at your wife in private or public place. Shouting is an immature, ridiculous and ineffective act. It can only provide undesirable hurting results. When tying the knot in Islam you are officiating your marriage. You are the only responsible person to keep her happy and healthy. Life is a give and take policy. If a husband is wrong in any of the means, wife is the person to correct him and vice versa. Be genuine and honest each other. Allah teaches us that man should keep his wife happy and lead a wonderful life with prayers and thanks giving.
"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."
Sunan Ibn Mājah
"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"
Sahih Bukhari
I was born and brought up in a family that my parents had great expectation in my studies. I used to get stereotyped questions like why you didn&8217;t score A+ for all subjects like the neighbor kids. My parents always compared me to neighbour kids, their career, looks, likes etc. In any case, none of us just ever seemed to be good enough. Even If they are telling these all for my growth, I just felt like it&8217;s so unfair to say so all the time. Now the days passed and I am an elderly person now. Now when I look back, there is a different perspective for the things my parents did. There are things I look at and think “did they do that just for us?” When my mum worked as a seamstress for 12 hours a day on very small wages to give us the things we wanted. My perspective as a mum made me to think about why they always held such high standards and why we could never meet them. Now I have children and it made me think about whether I ever put my children in the same position. I don&8217;t like to compare my children to others. All people are born with different values and capabilities and Allah is there to help them in every situations. I consider to love them unconditionally always regardless of what they did. Even if we hadn&8217;t really experienced the unconditional love from our parents, we must know that our children need it. Each of us can feel the unconditional love by giving it to ourselves.
Read MoreMufti Menk answered wisely to a question on how to keep away of quarrels in a joint family especially between husband&8217;s relatives and daughter in law. He says that often a mom or dad cannot love their daughter in law as equal as they love their daughter or son. In Islamic way, we must keep away quarrels and must be united in a family life. The best solution is that to live separately with her husband and children and to visit home in occasions such as Eid, Bakrid etc. Islamically, women deserve a dignity, respect and privacy at home. Living together does not provide unity in Islam. But respecting others will produce unity in Islam.
Read MoreHiba Masood a writer, speaker and a story teller talks about her Baba's influence in teaching Quran and its holy threads in her wonderful opinion piece "Baba, The Quran and Me". When she was in her younger age, she had to recite Quran every day, that her Baba taught her to do so without fail. She memorizes her childhood experience in the holy month of Ramadan as well as her Baba's powerful Ramadan experiences. Her Baba looked after all his children with extreme care. She had not faced poverty or any other means difficulties in life. Baba used to talk about his life and his days spent with his eight brothers and sisters used to look like. They were like in abject poverty, splitting one bowl of food for Iftar amongst a family of eleven and so on. Baba used to say that once all the work is done, you should recite Quran in every single possible minute. Every letter you recite during Ramadan has 70 times the regular reward? That means every letter, like saying Alif, gets you seven hundred good deeds. Years passed and with all the impetuous, rebellion of youth, of spending my days in smoke-filled rooms, strategizing with socialist/activists, and my evenings protesting against the Iraq war on the frozen streets of Toronto. Of not praying at all, of not so much as glancing towards the dusty shelf where my Qur'an sat the entire year. Next year Hiba got married and her brand new husband got astonished by her behavior and activities. She never proper placed her shoes and she always misplaced her cell phone. And she blessed with a baby boy just before the month of holy Ramadan. And there have many, many more years filled with anxiety, scary financial strain and a stormy marriage of sickness and grief. Years passed with no changes. Hiba recited Quran verses just as a routine, or just like fasting in the month of Ramadan without knowing the rewards of reciting. At last wisdom came to her brain at the age of thirty and she started to settle in life. Slowly, as an enthusiastically expected reconnection, she started reciting Quran well to Allah to the Qur'an to her childhood, to her father and to herself. Now her beloved father is aging and sick and she is in great agony by thinking about her sick dad. She used to caress his dad's grey hair, press her cheeks to his. She says that she misses him a lot and she is afraid of the future. But most of all, she whisper her gratitude. Gratitude for gifting her so freely all the things, all the lessons, all the beliefs, all the forces of habit and inspiring stories and abiding, enriching traditions that have blessed her life. Ultimately he was the lighthouse when he was able.
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